i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
