I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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