believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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