Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
