Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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