i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
