Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
