So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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