You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
