awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
