Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
