her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
