Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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