well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
