My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
