Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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