how can u be prego again
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize