I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
