This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize