also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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