My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
