Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
