Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
