i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
