I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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