Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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