She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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