Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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