I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize