I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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