this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
