Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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