You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
