She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
