ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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