I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
