I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Are we still banned from the library?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
