you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The power of my boobs compel you
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize