So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
