This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
