trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
