I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
