do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize