They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize