Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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