we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
