i don't like sucking hair
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
