they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
