you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I need moral support for this bender
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
BRING THE BAGELS
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
