I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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