Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
