Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Holy shit dude........stairs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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