She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
