Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
