im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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